You know when you think you are so clever (or lucky) and got away with something, only to find out later that this, in fact, is not true....Well this reality is mine and it has completely spoiled my mood and my motivation for the day.
I started out my day with a nice cup of coffee...I needed it to get me going. Weird how I managed without it for the last 32 years of my life. Huh...... Anyways, got my work out gear on, got Landon ready to go and we were out the door. Of course on my way out the door he tells me he has to go to the restroom...Well he says he has to "go poop" and I can't ignore that. So we go back inside, sit on the potty and.......Nothing. (sigh) Grab the bag again, my water and the keys and I'm at the gym in no time flat. I have been going to the gym pretty much every day during the week. I think I did miss last Wednesday due to pure laziness in the morning and a baseball schedule conflict in the evening but Thursday I managed to drag my entire family out to the track with me so I could go run. You know...good family time. They play, I run. Whatever - it made me feel less guilty. Plus, they had fun. And I ran...I ran the entire 3.25 miles. So Hannah...Kriss...if your reading this, I'm ready to sign up for those 5ks we mentioned at Easter.
After my workout this morning my plan was to go pay my ticket I got for not having insurance on my person, come home and hit the laundry hard. But when I went to go get my ticket "dismissed" this is what I hear instead - "Okay ma'am the insurance portion of your ticket has been dismissed, the cell phone portion will be 254..." fading off..Ummm, Say what???? Noooooooooooooooo!!! But I thought Mr. Saginaw police officer spared me this time. I thought he said I could just take care of the insurance part of the ticket and get dismissed and I needed to pay more attention. Wait???? Maybe he did say all that and I just completely misunderstood him. Either way - damn it!!! Total karate chop to the jugular. Total FAIL.
I swear, It Is Always Something.
Saving money, paying off debt and BAM - A/C goes out.
Budgeted for a perfect Spring Break vacation down to the penny and BAM - Tire is flat and you are told you need at least two more new ones.
Saving money, ready to get the kids some summer clothes - BAM - New doctor bill for Jackson's damn allergy shots.
It Is Always Something.
But - It could always be worse.
Yesterday I had two completely different conversations with my kids. Obviously, this isn't an abnormal thing but the spectrum of the two conversations had me giggling because my answer to both of them were the exact same.
Ella - "Mom, where are sharks weeners and butts?" - Ummmmmmm???
Jackson - "Mom, I don't want to grow up, because when I do you will die and I don't want you to die." - Ummmmmmm???
Obviously, I didn't leave Jackson hanging there...in tears, with a scared, broken heart but I also couldn't make Jackson any promises. I hate that I can't take that pain from him. That I can't say in all honesty, "Well it will be a long time before I get to be with God." Because that isn't the truth is it. The scary truth, that we all know but forget because our lives are so busy, is that we don't even know if we get tomorrow. But that's not something I want to make a reality for my 10 year old. Not right now anyways. Is that a mistake though? To not be honest about death. I sort of figured it out as I went along. The older I got, the more people I lost or the more I heard about death the more I figured out. When I was young, my great grandpa died and so I figured you only died when you were really old. And then I got a little older and my uncle passed away, and I thought, okay you die when you are old and when you are sick. And then, at 21, my dad passed away at 45 years of age, all of the sudden, while driving his truck down the road. Weeks earlier he had a physical done and was found to be in good health. So then I realized - the rules are all out the window. You die when God decides it's your time. Although, at the time I'm sure I didn't quite phrase it like that. It takes years of making peace with something to be able to accept it in those terms. But it's the truth. And my Jackson worries about so much as it is. So much. Too much. I just couldn't do it.
Ella's question about the shark privates was much easier to answer. "underneath the tail and towards the back." She accepted it without hesitation. I have no idea if this is correct or not. With most things, if I don't know the answer I generally google it to give my kids the correct information. I didn't really feel like googling, 'Shark Penis and Butts'. Maybe tomorrow when I'm feeling a little more adventurous and less deflated.
What I ran my 5k to last week -
Handlebars - Flobots (good song to start off with)
Written in the Stars - Tinie Tempah
We are Young - FUN
Lose Yourself - Eminem (always good for running)
The Motto - Drake
Dance Erotic - Marz
We Found Love - Rihanna
Glad You Came - The Wanted
Like a G6 - Far East Movement
Remember the Name - Fort Minor (best song in all the universe to end on)
I have to be forgetting a few because I'm a slow runner. Either way, they all keep me going. It's a good feeling. In spite all of that, I still weigh exactly the same. Not a good feeling.