Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Hope at the End of a Tunnel...

I have started and restarted this post 4 times now.

You know when something horrific and life changing happens in your life? Or maybe to someone else that you are close to and it has a direct impact on you? And for the million times we ask why me? or why now? We never get an answer. Because honestly, there is no answer. It just happened. And that has to be good enough. Forever.

I don't believe that to be totally true though. I believe we take our life experiences and we use them to help others. We take our moments of despair, our triumphs, the moments of happiness, the times of the unknown in our lives and the lessons learned throughout and how we got to where we are today and we expand that out into the world. 

Because here's the thing: It's HOPE for the next person. It's "if you can do it, so can I.". It's a reminder that the pain is only temporary. It's a glimpse into their own future that allows them to see the light at the end of that stupid tunnel that is  filled with anger, resentment, confusion, betrayal, hurt and heartache. And that light is what everybody needs to see to get through it. They need you. They need me. They need us to tell them that it's going to be okay and mean it.

I have gone through the tunnel. I have been there twice. Through death and divorce.... And I am at the other side. I'm waving at you and I'm telling you....in time, it will be better. In time, you will look back on this and you will be someone else's light.

It is good to be the light at the end of the dark tunnel. It is good to be HOPE.

I shared all of my 'growing up' with a stranger yesterday.

Without knowing it, every time we do this, it mends us a little bit more.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

My Net

In my last post I had mentioned reading a book called Bloom by Kelle Hampton. I won't go into too much detail about the book. It's a very special book. I don't feel the need to persuade anyone to read it. If you are interested in it I figured at this point you would either google it or ask me to borrow it. The latter has already taken place so you will have to wait in line.


A lot of what she writes about are her relationships.She devotes an entire chapter to this topic.  She refers to them in their entirety as her "Net". I love this analogy. Net - 1 a : an open-meshed fabric twisted, knotted, or woven together at regular intervals b : (1) : a device for catching... ( Source http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/net)   Consider it. A group of people, each their own person, who make a difference in your life. Who come together as your warriors and make it their sole job to catch whatever you can't handle. They accept the responsibility to hold you together when you are falling to pieces.  They are your hope when you have none. And I was envious of her fabulous "Net".  It was the one thing that stayed with me after finishing the book that I didn't expect. I was impacted. Mostly because when she spoke of her 28 friends that made up her beautiful support system, I didn't think I could relate.

I was wrong.

It took some time but I figured out that I do, in fact, have my own Net.

And this makes me happy.

It may not consist of 28 women who will stop everything at the drop of a hat but it does make up the most amazing people that I know in my life. They are people I can be honest with, I can be real without being judged. We have created a place between us where there is comfort in knowing that everyone's normal is not the same but we embrace it with arms wide open. A place that validates our feelings instead of questioning them. We can vent to one another without explanation or having to justify it. We pray for each other. And we pray hard. We cry for each other. We laugh together. We tell stories about being bucked off horses named Skip and we know it's okay to laugh. We share our joys and we discuss our fears, no matter how crazy they may seem. We listen to each other. We love each other.

I have a Net.

And my Net is bad ass.