Thursday, June 13, 2013

A Letter to my 21 Year Old Self: Just Keep Going.

I'm linking up with Jake & Holly for today's post!

Dear Me,

Try to stop being the selfish 21 year old that you are. Especially when it comes to your dad. You are going to have deep regrets when he is gone and he will be gone soon. I promise you that eventually you will not think so much about his death but more about his life. You will smile more and cry less. I promise you. But don't stop grieving. All in good time. 

Right now you are wondering if you deserve to be with someone that is good. You have made many dating faux pas in your past and it's all out of your insecurities. Your self doubt is going to lead you to one of your biggest  and best mistakes of your life. You will meet someone that you eventually will marry. The entire relationship will have you doubting yourself, your choices and what love is suppose to be. You are desperate and sad and just want to feel wanted. I would tell you to get over it and that you are better than this but honestly, if you hadn't made this choice you wouldn't have received all the blessings from it as well.  It's the entire reason why you have to go through with it. So when it doubt, hold on. Keep pushing forward. Don't stop, something will come out of your tolerance and faith. Jackson and Ella.  And then it's going to get really, really shitty. Do not give up. You will feel like you are dying. Like your heart is being ripped from you but do NOT give up. This is what I need you to do because I didn't. I didn't know better. Write everything down that Ella does. Everything. Because when everything else is falling apart around you, things out of your control, your going to lose the memories of her in that chaos. Write her life down until your life picks back up. You will come to a defining moment in your life, when you realize that you can't do this on your own. You are going to feel like kneeling and praying for the first time ever. Don't hesitate. Do it. And speak to Him. He has been waiting for this for a long time. Don't ever look back. Remember I told you it's going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better but that you have to keep going. Keep going. Your not there yet but you will be. You're about to learn what you are capable of. You are about to learn how strong you are. How much you deserve love. You're about to meet your sister all over again. You are about to meet the love your life. Let him in. He is going to be your forever soul mate. He is going to make all of this worth it. All of it. I know that sounds crazy but you will see.  Just keep going.

I love you.


Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Work Out Wednesday with Skinny Meg

I'm linking up with Skinny Meg for Work Out Wednesday. 

 For a little over a month now I have been changing up my workout routine. I use to be strictly cardio with  weights twice a week. You know this from my constant posts regarding my long mile runs. (Hey, they are long for me) I haven't ran in awhile. Not a long distance. I'm wondering If I still could at this point. I'm hoping it's like riding a bike, you just get back on and start where you left off. Why do I have a feeling it won't be like that. Not at all. Anyways, after not really seeing much change in my body, or my clothes or the scale I decided something needed to change. My frustration was at a all time high, I was letting the number on the scale ruin my days emotionally and I wanted to throw eating healthy out the damn window and just eat a cheeseburger. And yes, I have been eating more clean for while now too, so between that and my work outs I thought something would change. Not anything. Six months later, and nothing. 

Now I love being a healthier version of me. I love working out, so stopping that was never really an option for me. I love eating better. Even if it's  hard, it makes me feel better.  And I love the food that I eat. But something had to give. I talked to several different "non-expert" Experts and although a lot of the information was different there were things that were consistent. Lift. More. Weights. More weight, less cardio. And do your cardio after weight lifting. So...that's what I did. 

I now lift five days a week. And I won't sugar coat it, in the beginning it was intimidating. I didn't know what I was doing, I still really don't, but I conquered my fear. I got past the uncomfortable, out of my safe box, and made it happen. I focus on each muscle group twice a week. I also do HIIT training and I find a lot of WOD (work out of the day) online. They are exhausting and I always get a really high calorie burn. I love them! Mostly I love looking forward to doing something different for my body. Change is good. 

Here is what I do for my Arm days. (Twice a week, followed by cardio)

I did these because that is where I see the most change. In my shoulders and my biceps. And although the scale doesn't reflect my hard work, my shorts are a lot bigger on me than they were last summer. Yep, so I threw out the damn scale.  

*I got a lot of this information from - I used it as a starting point and I change it up every week.

*You tube any move you don't know how to do. 

Friday, June 7, 2013

Computer Hi-Jacked and Liebster Award

So obviously Bailee and I are Blog soulies. Or at the very least she was feeling the yearning within me to Blog again. Around midnight thirty last night I thought to myself, in between coughing fits, tomorrow I would love to make a big cup of coffee and hi-jack the computer back from my daughter and just write.....I have nothing in particular I want to write about and I also have very specific things I want to say. I know, a contradiction in terms. And this morning I received a sweet email from Bailee saying that she nominated me for a Liebster Award. Just what  I needed. The perfect excuse. So thank you Bailee for the nomination!!! I'm both humbled and appreciative of the sweet thought.

Oh and if you are like me, you have no idea what the Liebster Award is. (Does anyone just want to call it a Lobster Award for fun?) Anyways, it is an award for bloggers who have under 200 followers. And although I'm so close (only 175 followers away ;-) ) and I don't expect to receive it, it's really nice to be thought of. Isn't it?? Kindness goes a long way - I'm telling you peeps.

To nominate your fellow bloggers:
1. acknowledge the blog that nominated you
2. tell 11 facts about yourself
3. answer 11 questions the nominating blogger created
4. list blogs with less then 200 followers that you believe deserve this award
5. post 11 questions for them
6. notify them they have been nominated
AND! You CAN NOT nominate the blog that nominated you (total bum deal by the way)

11 Facts About Myself:

1. I love buying new make-up and make-up brushes.
2. I haven't had a pedicure in years.
3. I can't see well enough at night to drive safely.
4. If given the option for new boobs or lasiks - I would choose new eye balls.
5. I love lifting weights.
6. I hate when my husband chews on his finger nails.
7. I am fascinated by sharks and deathly afraid of the ocean.
8. I will let my kids swim in the ocean all day. (that seems messed up)
9. My three favorite blogs already have like a bazillion followers so I can't nominate them.
10. I threw away my scale at home.
11. I want several tattoos.

11 Questions from Bailee:

1. What is your favorite food? I mean how long can this answer be. No, really. I love food. But if I had to pick a favorite - It would be Mexican food. If you needed something more specific than that, than I pick Margaritas.

2. What is your favorite time of year? Definitely Fall. Even if it only lasts three days here in Texas. I love the cool breeze with the warm sun on your skin. I love that it is socially acceptable to wear boots again. The color of the leaves make me feel like I am in a different place. I see a lot more of extended family in Fall too.

3. What is your favorite quote? I have a few favorites for different reasons. I'm not sure mine are actually quotes as muchs as they are poems. I love a good poem.This one resonates with me the most.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart; i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
 - E.E. Cummings
4. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go? Greece. Have you ever seen a picture of that place, no matter the city, that wasn't breathtaking? Definitely Greece. And Australia. I'm a sucker for an accent. 

5. What is your favorite thing about where you live? That my family lives here. Doesn't get much better than that.

6. If you could do anything in the world what would it be? A tourist in Hawaii. But old Hawaii. The part that hasn't been industrialized. I would get to see beauty every day and then share it with people.

7. What is your biggest dream? Dream big! I just want to inspire people. It's that simple. I want to be the reason someone makes a change for the better, for themselves. I don't feel like anything would be more rewarding than that.

8. Should you have a big wedding ceremony or elope? Big wedding. You have to do it. You just can't lose sight of the fact that it's not about the wedding, it's all about the marriage. If you can do that, then I say every girl should be allowed to have her dream day.

9. What is your favorite animal? - White Tiger. So majestic.

10. What is your favorite book? - The Hunger Game Series - I didn't want it to be over.

11. Who is your role model and why? - My mother. I have always felt like my mother always does the right thing. Yeah, she may get grumpy sometimes and she is stubborn as hell - like seriously, one of the most stubborn people I know. But in the end, she always does the right thing. Even if it's the hardest choice. She is my best friend.

My Nominees
All Things Beautiful
Just Me Lisa Marie
Crystal Michelle's Mess

My 11 Questions: (Geez there are a lot of questions and facts on this blog)

1. What is your biggest pet peeve?
2. What makes you a good friend?
3. What is your favorite dessert?
4. What are you most passionate about?
5. If you could live anywhere for just 6 months, where would it be?
6. Do you hold grudges?
7. What did you want to be when you were little?
8. What three words would you use to describe yourself?
9. You are on an island with just your family and the clothes on your back - What do you miss having the most?
10. What is the best advice you have ever received?
11. Would you rather get lost in a really good book or a really good movie?

Thanks again for the Nom Miss Bailee!!!!