Small Talk

Hi, my name is Amy and I am socially challenged. Inept. Incapable. Incompetent. Uncool. Please feel free to insert any and all synonyms you wish because they all apply.

I blame this on two things. #1-  I'm not what you would call a overconfident person. Wait...scratch that...I'm not what you would call confident at all. #2 I'm a stay at home mom. I don't have much practice going out into the real world and converging amongst adults on a daily basis. At least adults that I don't know. The irony is that I could go into a deep conversation with a complete stranger about absolutely nothing.  I enjoy that type of conversation.  But having to make small talk with said stranger terrifies me. I loathe small talk. It's so fake. Always forced. I hate it because I'm not good at it. Most of the time I feel like I don't have much to offer to a conversation amongst strangers. Unless, of course they are discussing things that I happen to be an expert on. Which is what exactly? (Long Pause) Right, so you can see where my discomfort comes from.

I had a friend ask me once if I have social anxiety disorder. "Pfffft...No...why would you ask that?" I responded with surprise.  "Because you are sitting here at a child's birthday party not really talking to anyone. You look like you are uncomfortable." These were our friends she was talking about.  I don't technically know what Social Anxiety Order entails but I do know she was right that day about my behavior.

So you can imagine how excited I was when my Husband told me that his company was having a HUGE Christmas party this year. Spouses included. Yay!!!!!! I'm not going. Annnnnnnd  it's business formal attire.(What the hell...why can't they do an ugly sweater theme or wear your best leggings or yoga pants???)  On top of that there will be other people there. Important people. Ughhhh...Math nerds. I'm never going to survive.  I'm married to freaking Mr. Personality. He can talk to anyone. I got in a car accident the other day and while we were waiting for the police to arrive my husband talked up a storm with the guy who hit me. You know, small talk and stuff.  Small talk.Whatever.

I am meeting Jacob's favorite work peeps this weekend. Like he talks about them all the time. Like it's starting to get weird how much he talks about them. Although meeting just three new people isn't quite as daunting to me as the Christmas party is, it's still intimidating. No one is married. No one has kids.  I think when they ask me if I went to college, I'm going to fib. I'm going to go big. I played college basketball and I whittle cribs from trees in my back yard for babies. My super power is making money disappear and I only wear a cape during business hours. The skies the limit here. ;-) And please don't get me wrong, I am not ashamed at all that I stay at home with my kids. I'm very blessed actually but unless you have kids, sometimes that concept is hard to wrap your head around. At least I have my age. I'm older than everyone pretty much. So maybe they will just think I'm wiser because of it. As long as no one asks to see the gravitational pull the earth has on my breastases....we should be good.