Thursday, February 2, 2012

Goodbyes Made you Mine

 So I get a text from my Mom this morning about entering a contest that one of my friends is hosting. I submitted my email to him just now and thought I would also use this opportunity to blog about it. Because, honestly, one of my favorite things to do is write about people that I love. I have a lot of people that I love but this guy is my favorite. Here is the link if you want to read more about the contest and I will also leave the link if you want to listen to the song. It's a really great song!!!

Isn't it funny how a song can speak to your soul? I mean isn't that what it's all about anyways? How much your life or your life experiences relates to a song. How much a song tells your story. I love that about music and that's why I love this song so much. I knew it the moment I heard it because it told my story.

My story starts about 6 years ago. I had a 2 1/2 year old little boy and a brand new baby girl. Sounds promising right? I also had a husband that, after being married for only 4 short years,  didn't want to be married to me anymore. Let me tell you that there is nothing worse than being hopeless. Than not being able to control a situation that is slowly spinning out of control around you. But there I was, a new mother of two, heart-broken, devastated and powerless to keep this marriage together. The short version of this story is that we went through a pretty grueling divorce that took a good part of three years and also a better part of my sanity. But that isn't what this story is about. This story is about finding hope again. Finding love when you have all but given up on the very thought of it. Finding myself, finding my soul mate.

About a year after my ex-husband and i had split up I met Jacob. It's important that you know that at this point in my life, I didn't believe in true love.I didn't believe in vows and I didn't believe in anything lasting. I was a pretty pessimistic person to say the least. Enters Jacob and my life as I knew it had changed forever.  It all started with a conversation over cleaning the dishes. I had guests in from out of town and Jacob and come over with his brother.  I was taken by him instantly and his rare but ever so refreshing humility during this conversation that before I knew it he had helped me clean up my kitchen.  And that's when I started to fight every feeling I felt. He's too young. He will leave me eventually. They all do. If taking vows with someone doesn't matter why would this guy stick around. I had every excuse in the book. I trusted no one. But most of all, I didn't trust myself. How could I? I was wrong about who I married and so I convinced myself I could not be trusted.  But with every excuse I gave Jacob, he replied with, " I don't care if it will take until the day I die and I have to have 'I told you so' written on my tombstone, I will prove to you that I am here to stay. I will be patient. I can wait until you are ready to love again. I can wait until you want to let someone in. I will earn your trust. Your worth waiting for." And every day since the first day I have met Jacob he has proven me wrong. Every day Jacob not only tells me he loves me, he shows me he loves me.

Every day he loves my oldest kids that are not his own but he treats them as they are. Every day  he misses me and tells me about it, he holds my hand, he kisses my forehead, he says thank you for dinner, he cleans up the kitchen, he's my rock when I am unstable, he is my ear when I need someone to listen, he is my shoulder to cry on, he is the one who can make me laugh my way out of a bad mood. Every day I fall in love with him all over again.  He is what True Love means. He is my best friend, my absolute better half. He makes me want to be a better person by the way he loves others. He is my soul mate. This is my Fairytale and I wouldn't be here today, the happiest I have ever been in my life, if I hadn't been through hell and  back. All the Goodbyes I heard in my life led me to this moment. To this opportunity to write this story about the only person I can imagine spending the rest of my life with. My husband. My world has completely changed forever, for the better.

With Love,
Amy Bryant

Photos by Serendipity Photography

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is... just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two" ♥

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