When I was in 6th grade there was a new girl that started at our school and she was coolest thing since maroon Adidas (at the time....at our school....Go Wildcats!!! ). She didn't look like the rest of us blonde/brunette haired girls with blue-ish/green-ish eyes. She had long, curly red hair, big dimples and big brown eyes and everyone...and I mean everyone....wanted to be her "best friend".
Looking back I don't really understand why we all felt this way. I mean she was definitely popular but I'm pretty sure not a single one of us got to know her as a person. And it's not like I was friendless. I was always someone that had a lot of friends. I never really hung out with one group or another. I enjoyed being friends with everyone. Needless to say, she allowed me the opportunity and asked me to be her Best Friend one day and you were crazy if you turned THAT down. I felt special. I felt cool. I felt prettier. I felt more important. All because when she wrote me a note she signed it - Amy + Jodi = BFFL.
Why is it so difficult for people to see what they have to offer on their own? To know their own worth. I mean sure, my 12 year old self needed reassurance. It happens when your young. It's how you learn more about yourself. But even as an adult, I have experienced so much of the same. I have witnessed the same need for acceptance. I have been the person that needed it in a desperate situation. But I feel like I have come out the other side knowing my worth. Being happy with who I am on the inside and doing my best to try to live with no regrets. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect, not in the slightest. But, I am human and I'm okay with messing up. I'm okay with that because I learn from it and move forward.
Jodi gave me about a month of her shady friendship - and then she broke up with me. She broke up with me the same day Gary Purdue broke up with me. By 3 o'clock they were dating. I was really hurt but not for long. It forced me to really look at what I had at the time. And there was some pretty awesome girls in my life. One of them stuck for nearly 15 years. Looking back, I never mistreated her. I was nothing but kind to her. Even if she wasn't kind to everyone else. Even if she was mean to me. Looking back, Jodi didn't really deserve a friend like me at all.
I'm thankful for all the disappointments I have encountered in my life. They force you to know your strengths. And when you know how strong you are, you know your worth.. And when you know your worth you begin to love yourself more. You begin to accept yourself and all your imperfections. You don't let the actions of others effect you as much. You don't let the negativity get you down like you use to. You do your best to treat people fairly. You tolerate much less. You learn to choose to be HAPPY.
Life's too short to be anything but.....