You learn to choose to be HAPPY.....

When I was in 6th grade there was a new girl that started at our school and she was coolest thing since maroon Adidas (at the time....at our school....Go Wildcats!!! ). She didn't look like the rest of us blonde/brunette haired girls with blue-ish/green-ish eyes. She had long, curly red hair, big dimples and big brown eyes and everyone...and I mean everyone....wanted to be her "best friend".

Looking back I don't really understand why we all felt this way. I mean she was definitely popular but I'm pretty sure not a single one of us got to know her as a person. And it's not like I was friendless. I was always someone that had a lot of friends. I never really hung out with one group or another. I enjoyed being friends with everyone. Needless to say, she allowed me the opportunity and asked me to be her Best Friend one day and you were crazy if you turned THAT down. I felt special. I felt cool. I felt prettier. I felt more important. All because when she wrote me a note she signed it - Amy + Jodi = BFFL.

Why is it so difficult for people to see what they have to offer on their own? To know their own worth. I mean sure, my 12 year old self needed reassurance. It happens when your young. It's how you learn more about yourself. But even as an adult, I have experienced so much of the same. I have witnessed the same need for acceptance.  I have been the person that needed it in a desperate situation. But I feel like I have come out the other side knowing my worth. Being happy with who I am on the inside and doing my best to try to live with no regrets. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect, not in the slightest. But, I am human and I'm okay with messing up. I'm okay with that because I learn from it and move forward.

Jodi gave me about a month of her shady friendship - and then she broke up with me. She broke up with me the same day Gary Purdue broke up with me. By 3 o'clock they were dating. I was really hurt but not for long. It forced me to really look at what I had at the time. And there was some pretty awesome girls in my life. One of them stuck for nearly 15 years. Looking back, I never mistreated her. I was nothing but kind to her. Even if she wasn't kind to everyone else. Even if she was mean to me. Looking back, Jodi didn't really deserve a friend like me at all.

I'm thankful for all the disappointments I have encountered in my life. They force you to know your strengths. And when you know how strong you are, you know your worth.. And when you know your worth you begin to love yourself more. You begin to accept yourself and all your imperfections. You don't let the actions of others effect you as much. You don't let the negativity get you down like you use to. You do your best to treat people fairly. You tolerate much less. You learn to choose to be HAPPY.

Life's too short to be anything but.....

With Love,


Amy Marie

Friends Flex It Friday

THE RULES

For the first link up we are basically networking! So if you don't mind.....

Tell us 5 Facts about you

then

 Tell us 5 Fitness related facts about you

Insert pictures Mmmkay.. I wanna see you!

Then you will just add your link and link back to us!

( this means click the link at the bottom add your link and it will walk you through it… then when you post your blog add the Friends Flex it Friday Picture and the links when you mention “linking up with Crystal Michelle + Amy”  back to us.)

Make sure you add your link to my blog  & Crystal's as well!

We will follow your blog via blog lovin’ and stay in touch! In future link ups there will be prizes and fun stuff! We plan on linking up about at home workouts, quick and easy meals for the fambam, fill in the blanks and much more!



5 FACTS ABOUT ME

I love the beach but the ocean freaks me out. (Hello..Sharks!!)
My eyes turn green when I've been drinking special beverages.
I got my daughters name, Ella, out of a Pottery Barn magazine. 

My oldest friendship is 19 years and still going.
I do believe I am addicted to Spark. 

5 FITNESS RELATED FACTS

I have to have my Polar HRM and my music for a work out or forget it - it's not happening.
My favorite muscle group to work out is my Shoulders. Deltoids are pretty. ;-)
The stair master is HELL. But I do that for my cardio because it is more challenging to me than running is.
My favorite work out song is Til I Collapse by Eminem.
I dance while I work out. It's true.

 

Finish the Sentence....

You can link up here with Jake & Holly's Finish the Sentence if ya wanna...

If I had one extra hour in the day...When is the hour? Is the extra hour in the morning....Because I would sleep. Is it at night...Because I would finally finish a Law & Order SVU

I wish my name...was longer. Just my first name. I love my middle, albeit very common. My first name is so old school. No offense Mom.

I think anything chevron is...cute on anything that isn't huge or in my room. I got a new beach towel with Chevron print. Totally awesome. But not on my walls.

My last nightmare...I can't even remember. Seriously. I'm sure it had something to do with me losing my teeth.

Sometimes...I think....

My last meal on earth would be...it's a toss up...Either my moms round steak, mash potatoes and gravy with green beans or a filet mignon, caesar salad with asparagus and some steak house mac n cheese...that's how I roll!!

I would much rather be_____ than____... really hungry than really lost. Because I'm lost all the time. Like, all the time.
 
Mayonnaise...are delicious!!! And I would put them on everything if I wasn't trying to get rid of fat.
 
10 years ago....I didn't know life could be so good!!!


Selfishly...I don't want my husband to remarry if I die. And he's really young too. Hey, you asked....

My favorite show on TV right now....Naked and Afraid...Balls are fascinating.

And, George Zimmerman....There's a reason why we have a justice system in place. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. This time it did. And I think the decision should be respected and everyone should move on from it.

"Two hands, two feet, and one brain."

Sharing out of love....

I know it's long but it's absolutely worth the time. I promise.

The Daffodil Principle

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, 'Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over.' I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. 'I will come next Tuesday', I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house, I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.

'Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!'

My daughter smiled calmly and said, 'We drive in this all the time, Mother.'

'Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!' I assured her.

'But first we're going to see the daffodils. It's just a few blocks,' Carolyn said. 'I'll drive. I'm used to this.'

'Carolyn,' I said sternly, 'Please turn around.'

'It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience.'

After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read, ' Daffodil Garden .' We got out of the car, each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight.

It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swathes of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

'Who did this?' I asked Carolyn.

'Just one woman,' Carolyn answered. 'She lives on the property. That's her home.' Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.

On the patio, we saw a poster. 'Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking', was the headline. The first answer was a simple one.' 50,000 bulbs,' it read. The second answer was, 'One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain.' The third answer was, 'Began in 1958.'

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.

That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time--often just one baby-step at a time--and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world .

'It makes me sad in a way,' I admitted to Carolyn. 'What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!'

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. 'Start tomorrow,' she said.

She was right. It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, 'How can I put this to use today?'

Use the Daffodil Principle. Stop waiting...
Until your car or home is paid off
Until you get a new car or home
Until your kids leave the house
Until you go back to school
Until you finish school
Until you clean the house
Until you organize the garage
Until you clean off your desk
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married
Until you get a divorce
Until you have kids
Until the kids go to school
Until you retire
Until summer
Until spring
Until winter
Until fall
Until you die...

There is no better time than right now to be happy.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So work like you don't need money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like no one's watching.

I'm apart of a private group on FB. It's a small group of women who are continually there for one another. We push each other, we sympathize with one another. We share triumphs and failures - we help each other move on from that. It's a really positive thing to be apart of. I have met some wonderful women in the last few months of my life. Each of them have inspired me in their own way. Each of them encourage me to see the best version of myself. Every. Day.

Today, Sara, from our group, posted this. It brought me to tears. I quickly related the story to my journey. My journey of finding my happy place on the inside and outside.    

I firmly believe that this is the secret to life.  

"That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time--often just one baby-step at a time--and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world ."

We can change the world. Love the doing. 

A Letter to my 21 Year Old Self: Just Keep Going.

I'm linking up with Jake & Holly for today's post!

Dear Me,

Try to stop being the selfish 21 year old that you are. Especially when it comes to your dad. You are going to have deep regrets when he is gone and he will be gone soon. I promise you that eventually you will not think so much about his death but more about his life. You will smile more and cry less. I promise you. But don't stop grieving. All in good time. 

Right now you are wondering if you deserve to be with someone that is good. You have made many dating faux pas in your past and it's all out of your insecurities. Your self doubt is going to lead you to one of your biggest  and best mistakes of your life. You will meet someone that you eventually will marry. The entire relationship will have you doubting yourself, your choices and what love is suppose to be. You are desperate and sad and just want to feel wanted. I would tell you to get over it and that you are better than this but honestly, if you hadn't made this choice you wouldn't have received all the blessings from it as well.  It's the entire reason why you have to go through with it. So when it doubt, hold on. Keep pushing forward. Don't stop, something will come out of your tolerance and faith. Jackson and Ella.  And then it's going to get really, really shitty. Do not give up. You will feel like you are dying. Like your heart is being ripped from you but do NOT give up. This is what I need you to do because I didn't. I didn't know better. Write everything down that Ella does. Everything. Because when everything else is falling apart around you, things out of your control, your going to lose the memories of her in that chaos. Write her life down until your life picks back up. You will come to a defining moment in your life, when you realize that you can't do this on your own. You are going to feel like kneeling and praying for the first time ever. Don't hesitate. Do it. And speak to Him. He has been waiting for this for a long time. Don't ever look back. Remember I told you it's going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better but that you have to keep going. Keep going. Your not there yet but you will be. You're about to learn what you are capable of. You are about to learn how strong you are. How much you deserve love. You're about to meet your sister all over again. You are about to meet the love your life. Let him in. He is going to be your forever soul mate. He is going to make all of this worth it. All of it. I know that sounds crazy but you will see.  Just keep going.

I love you.

   

Work Out Wednesday with Skinny Meg

I'm linking up with Skinny Meg for Work Out Wednesday. 

 For a little over a month now I have been changing up my workout routine. I use to be strictly cardio with  weights twice a week. You know this from my constant posts regarding my long mile runs. (Hey, they are long for me) I haven't ran in awhile. Not a long distance. I'm wondering If I still could at this point. I'm hoping it's like riding a bike, you just get back on and start where you left off. Why do I have a feeling it won't be like that. Not at all. Anyways, after not really seeing much change in my body, or my clothes or the scale I decided something needed to change. My frustration was at a all time high, I was letting the number on the scale ruin my days emotionally and I wanted to throw eating healthy out the damn window and just eat a cheeseburger. And yes, I have been eating more clean for while now too, so between that and my work outs I thought something would change. Not anything. Six months later, and nothing. 

Now I love being a healthier version of me. I love working out, so stopping that was never really an option for me. I love eating better. Even if it's  hard, it makes me feel better.  And I love the food that I eat. But something had to give. I talked to several different "non-expert" Experts and although a lot of the information was different there were things that were consistent. Lift. More. Weights. More weight, less cardio. And do your cardio after weight lifting. So...that's what I did. 

I now lift five days a week. And I won't sugar coat it, in the beginning it was intimidating. I didn't know what I was doing, I still really don't, but I conquered my fear. I got past the uncomfortable, out of my safe box, and made it happen. I focus on each muscle group twice a week. I also do HIIT training and I find a lot of WOD (work out of the day) online. They are exhausting and I always get a really high calorie burn. I love them! Mostly I love looking forward to doing something different for my body. Change is good. 

Here is what I do for my Arm days. (Twice a week, followed by cardio)

I did these because that is where I see the most change. In my shoulders and my biceps. And although the scale doesn't reflect my hard work, my shorts are a lot bigger on me than they were last summer. Yep, so I threw out the damn scale.  

*I got a lot of this information from http://muffin-topless.com/ - I used it as a starting point and I change it up every week.

*You tube any move you don't know how to do. 

                                

Computer Hi-Jacked and Liebster Award

So obviously Bailee and I are Blog soulies. Or at the very least she was feeling the yearning within me to Blog again. Around midnight thirty last night I thought to myself, in between coughing fits, tomorrow I would love to make a big cup of coffee and hi-jack the computer back from my daughter and just write.....I have nothing in particular I want to write about and I also have very specific things I want to say. I know, a contradiction in terms. And this morning I received a sweet email from Bailee saying that she nominated me for a Liebster Award. Just what  I needed. The perfect excuse. So thank you Bailee for the nomination!!! I'm both humbled and appreciative of the sweet thought.

Oh and if you are like me, you have no idea what the Liebster Award is. (Does anyone just want to call it a Lobster Award for fun?) Anyways, it is an award for bloggers who have under 200 followers. And although I'm so close (only 175 followers away ;-) ) and I don't expect to receive it, it's really nice to be thought of. Isn't it?? Kindness goes a long way - I'm telling you peeps.

To nominate your fellow bloggers:
1. acknowledge the blog that nominated you
2. tell 11 facts about yourself
3. answer 11 questions the nominating blogger created
4. list blogs with less then 200 followers that you believe deserve this award
5. post 11 questions for them
6. notify them they have been nominated
AND! You CAN NOT nominate the blog that nominated you (total bum deal by the way)

11 Facts About Myself:

1. I love buying new make-up and make-up brushes.
2. I haven't had a pedicure in years.
3. I can't see well enough at night to drive safely.
4. If given the option for new boobs or lasiks - I would choose new eye balls.
5. I love lifting weights.
6. I hate when my husband chews on his finger nails.
7. I am fascinated by sharks and deathly afraid of the ocean.
8. I will let my kids swim in the ocean all day. (that seems messed up)
9. My three favorite blogs already have like a bazillion followers so I can't nominate them.
10. I threw away my scale at home.
11. I want several tattoos.




11 Questions from Bailee:

1. What is your favorite food? I mean how long can this answer be. No, really. I love food. But if I had to pick a favorite - It would be Mexican food. If you needed something more specific than that, than I pick Margaritas.

2. What is your favorite time of year? Definitely Fall. Even if it only lasts three days here in Texas. I love the cool breeze with the warm sun on your skin. I love that it is socially acceptable to wear boots again. The color of the leaves make me feel like I am in a different place. I see a lot more of extended family in Fall too.

3. What is your favorite quote? I have a few favorites for different reasons. I'm not sure mine are actually quotes as muchs as they are poems. I love a good poem.This one resonates with me the most.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart; i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

 - E.E. Cummings

 

4. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go? Greece. Have you ever seen a picture of that place, no matter the city, that wasn't breathtaking? Definitely Greece. And Australia. I'm a sucker for an accent. 

5. What is your favorite thing about where you live? That my family lives here. Doesn't get much better than that.

6. If you could do anything in the world what would it be? A tourist in Hawaii. But old Hawaii. The part that hasn't been industrialized. I would get to see beauty every day and then share it with people.

7. What is your biggest dream? Dream big! I just want to inspire people. It's that simple. I want to be the reason someone makes a change for the better, for themselves. I don't feel like anything would be more rewarding than that.

8. Should you have a big wedding ceremony or elope? Big wedding. You have to do it. You just can't lose sight of the fact that it's not about the wedding, it's all about the marriage. If you can do that, then I say every girl should be allowed to have her dream day.

9. What is your favorite animal? - White Tiger. So majestic.

10. What is your favorite book? - The Hunger Game Series - I didn't want it to be over.

11. Who is your role model and why? - My mother. I have always felt like my mother always does the right thing. Yeah, she may get grumpy sometimes and she is stubborn as hell - like seriously, one of the most stubborn people I know. But in the end, she always does the right thing. Even if it's the hardest choice. She is my best friend.


My Nominees
All Things Beautiful
Just Me Lisa Marie
Crystal Michelle's Mess

My 11 Questions: (Geez there are a lot of questions and facts on this blog)

1. What is your biggest pet peeve?
2. What makes you a good friend?
3. What is your favorite dessert?
4. What are you most passionate about?
5. If you could live anywhere for just 6 months, where would it be?
6. Do you hold grudges?
7. What did you want to be when you were little?
8. What three words would you use to describe yourself?
9. You are on an island with just your family and the clothes on your back - What do you miss having the most?
10. What is the best advice you have ever received?
11. Would you rather get lost in a really good book or a really good movie?

Thanks again for the Nom Miss Bailee!!!!