tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7484860269839602535.post6292918592553631992..comments2023-04-25T20:03:33.030-07:00Comments on This Life is All Mine: I Like Having Options...Amy Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12159148559933671767noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7484860269839602535.post-10015932694700147912012-09-30T15:40:58.296-07:002012-09-30T15:40:58.296-07:00Thank you Crystal, for your kind, sweet words and ...Thank you Crystal, for your kind, sweet words and understanding. I have to hope that what you and Alli say about my dad knowing how I felt is true. I have to believe that he knew I loved him. I'm almost positive I did tell him that on the last day that I saw him. It was sort of a game actually with him. We would say I love you as many times as we had to get him to say I love you back. He usually always said, "Ok, me too." Just like his dad, my grandpa, says to this very day. So I'm sure I said. At least once. And don't feel sad about the dance Crystal. You had no way of knowing how that would make me feel. I try every wedding I go to, and I'm going to keep trying. It just may not be my thing. But don't feel sorry about it. At all!! Thanks for reading this extremely long and heavy post and leaving me such a thoughtful comment. I know it hit home for you. I thought of you while I was writing it. You and everyone else I know that has lost someone special to them. I love you too!Amy Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12159148559933671767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7484860269839602535.post-11534301246821236952012-09-30T14:20:03.087-07:002012-09-30T14:20:03.087-07:00So I just sat here and sobbed!
Don't you love...So I just sat here and sobbed!<br /><br />Don't you love those dreams but hate to wake up? I have had two about my dad since he passed and I think 4 total of my brother.. It's like in you know that you should pay attention in your dream (or I do) and you cant figure out why you should pay attention.. When I saw my brother the last time he had aged, he had gray hair or sparkles.. he smiled at me but he was older.. it was perfect.<br /><br />I think I needed this... I think YOU needed this.. <br /><br />With just losing my dad in April, when I read your words I re lived mine, I felt the pain in your words and when you said You didn't want to move and you stared in to nothing, I don't even know what to say.. but.. I totally get it. More than anything I want to tell you two things.. 1... I'm sorry you lost your daddy, I wouldn't wish the pain upon anyone, Im sorry your kids got robbed of someone that sounded amazing.. Some times we tend to have better relationships with people when we get older, Kinda like my brother, his birthday is today and how you feel robbed with your dad is how I feel robbed with Les, Like we were so close when I was little I know we would have been amazing, as an uncle when I was old enough to appreciate him as a brother & we would have been "siblings" I don't have that.. I feel as if I was "robbed" as you stated.. & #2 I love you, I love your story and Amy, I haven't known you as long as everyone else but I know your heart & please dont think for a second your dad didnt know your heart he made it :) He knew you loved him... he knew how you felt & he is & would be more than proud of the woman that you have become the choices that you have made and the mother that you are.. I sure know that I am blessed to have you as a best friend. <br /><br />But more than anything else, it's good to know when I feel alone, and when no one gets it.. that you do, I'm sorry you get it but in a way its nice to know that it's normal how I feel, and more than that it's okay.. I love you. <br /><br />At Amber's wedding when you couldn't watch the daughter daddy dance I didn't get it, I'm sorry I pushed you to stay in the room, that actually haunts me to be honest.. Like why did I make her stay? & what an asshole move.. Doing weddings I HATE that part, no.. I did get to dance with my dad at my wedding, but if any moment stands out to me its that one, when I was little he used to sing you are my sunshine to me.. and then 27 years later, he was back in to a child state of mind, and I was the grown up singing to him as we both cried.. at that moment life went full circle for me.. so, as weird as it is I want to say Im sorry I made you stay in there that day and you may not even remember but I've carried it around with me for a while now. - I love you.Crystal Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05849280156481927442noreply@blogger.com